please ?

 ; yes true . im trying my hard to forget you from my life . *opposite* .

seriously , u just cant get off from my mind . idk what to do already .

k , hello .

start from yesterday huh ?

k , yesterday was NOT okay .

early in morning , i start my day with crying .

for the whole math lessons was crying all the way actually ; 

till there's like one big puddle on my table .

haish . ):

when changing period to Music , 

tried very hard to stop crying cause i dowan other people can see my "so-soredeyes"

ohya , about my prediction whether he surely not becoming on monday is sooo true ok ?

haha , see , im good . (:

cheyy . heh .

so , back to topic , after Music was Recess .

these two days , which is yesterday and today didnt even went for recess like i used to those other back time days . ):

hmm , .

want to know why , because i have no mood to . 

k , then that time ( yesterday ) , i asked Yan Ni to buy for me something .

*shhhsss*

haha .

quickly ate it as soon as possible . 

heh (:

gd girl right ?

joking );

ohman , typing about the gd girl thing makes me cry again )):

*sobs*

cause , he told me once that im not a good girl ,

with his jokes when he play-play say that im not a gd girl .

i really miss those times where we jokes around tgther . .

*argh , my tears kept on flowing out from my eyes .

i really hope it will stops soon as i dowan till i sleep , i still kept on crying , 

and tmrow , you all will see my swollen eyes . -.-

k , back to topic again . -.-

end recess time , 

it was DNT . 

was quite boring .

and also , 

MY PHONE GOT CONFISCATED BY TEACHER !

and this is my FIRST time in my entire life of secondary lifes .

haish .

but thankfully , i got it back during end of lessons . 

haha .

so , after Dnt was science .

that period  was quite okay though .

then after all that went home .

at home , as per normal . 

cried in my room again , 

thinking all about those problems .

so , today , 

went veryvery early to school .

i reached school like 6.58pm like that .

heh (:

then , went to band room .

tried my hard not to think about it , 

and i made it ok ?

im proud of myself .

but !

during math lessons again just now , 

which is first - two periods , 

i start my day again with crying . .

this is because of something ok ?

and zames saw im crying and was like kecoh .

haish . mulut tak leh tutup btul ah tu budak .

hmm , then after maths , went AVA room to watch movie .

my heart wasnt on that video actually .

was all the way thinking about the problem .

hmm .

so , then , it was recess .

like i told before , i didnt went for recess .

was in class with some of my classmates .

then , something happens .

dowan mention it .

k , very lazy to talk about the other period cause all of it was bo-ring .

today , 1.30 can go home already .

went home for awhile , then went to school again cause have band and prefect meeting .

but i didnt played during band cause was outside with hayati as she's sick .

then blahblahblah , 

as per normal , thinking about it again .

hmm , now i realized that i cannot be alone cause i will start thinking about it again and again that will make me cry . hmm , so much problems these days . i hope to finish the problem as soon as possible . 

cause i dowan i go KL with the sadness and i will miss someone . 

haish .

now , my only wish that he would message me / or call / or whatsoever .

i downa lose contact with him .

cause i dont know why i have this feeling that im missing him day by day when he didnt msg me / or call . 

hmm , seriously , i just need him to msg / call , and thats it  .

i would surely concentrate during class and wont be very emo till i do something very stupid .

*sobs*

i wanna cry again .

but i know , i need to be strong .

like seriously , i really need to .

k , gtg . 

kbye . ):

Unknown Feelings ?

  ; k , seriously now im very confused about my feelings . maybe it has break into pieces already . ):

heyy . 

k , so just came back from my uncle house as have some kenduri and birthday party .

had to come today cause on 17th i cant send him to airport as he's going for umrah .

Selamat pergi dan Selamat kembali Ayah Gi , Cik Misah , Ibu , Bapak , Ayah ngah and Mama .

doa kan nur disana . Nur juga akan doakan supaya semuanya sihat2 di sana .

Amin .

k , so , now im all alone at home cause , my dad , mom , 1st brother and 4th brother still there ( at my uncle house)

for my 2nd and 3rd brother they still working so havent come back home yet .

faster come back home eh y'all .

im really not feeling well now .

]:

ok , so back to story .

went there at 11 something , reached there played with my anak sedara .

they very cute leh .

haha .

then we were asked to eat .

when i was eating , suddenly , my cousin came to me and say 

"dont dreaming when you eating"

i was like how you know sia im dreaming .

so , i asked my little cousin who were eating with me that time whether do i look really sad ?

then she say , "yah , your face look like someone just break up with his/her boy/girl-friend ."

hmm , now i know ,

people can see whether they are sad or happy by looking at the person face although the person tried to hide it .

yeah , my cousin is totally true . 

he knows when i was dreaming sia .

and he also knows when i was so called "being broke up by my boyfriend" , 

but actually i didnt even broke up as i am single .

but , im sad because of something else .

hmm . 

sad-sad .

i really hope he would msg me or call me although he's busy now .

at least just msg/call me telling me about he busy now or not .

k , seriously .

if tomorrow he still havent call me or msg me , 

i will tell myself to just forget him forever .

seriously . 

I WILL DO IT .

sedih y'know when he do like this .

dh dua hari tkde dengar khabar die .

on friday when i msg him , he only answer one letter .

one letter y'know ?!

containing 2 letters which is 

"DH" ?!

ergh . geram seyy .

after that i msg him trus tkde reply .

bgus sngt2 .

haish . malas nak ckp pasal die .

guys , please remember for me , if tmrow he still havent msg or call me , 

help me to remind myself to just forget about him .

useless sia if waiting for him whereas he is happy with his life .

and to my friends , if i very emo tomorrow , 

you guys should know why an i like that .

k ?

sorry if tmrow my attitude like shit ok ?

i seriously very pissed off .

k , back to story again .

throughout the kenduri ,

like seriously , 

i was very emo y'know ?

kept thinking about him .

his face always appear on my mind .

when i was eating , his face is on the rice im eating .

when i was talking to my cousin , 

my cousin face change to his face .

SERIOUSLY SIA .

im telling the truth .

whatever i do , his face will appear .

idk why .

hmm .

ohya , i remembered talking to my cousin just now about tudung ( malay ladies wear on their head)

im starting to wear tudung wherever i go .

im starting to be good girl already .

my cousin also give advise to me , 

"dont listen to your friends when you go out with them and you wear tudung and they will comment you by saying

 " chey , nak step budak alim sey "

just ignore them and reply to them " thanks "

if what they say hurts your feelings ,

just tell them 

" what's your problem , you not Islam meh ? your mother dont wear tudung isit ?

my problem ah if i want to wear or not .

haha . quite harsh right .

but who cares .

this is for the malays when they say that to me .

i told my cousin many of the malays always say that , 

some of my chinese friends respect when they see us wearing tudung , but for the malays , 

they are Islam too , why dont they respect us when we wearing tudung sia .

correct or not ?

so , to people out there , 

respect people for who they are .

if they want to wear tudung or not , 

their problem .

you dont need to say negatives comments ok ?

haish .

k , gtg now , 

ohya , tmrow starts school already .

my heart tell me that surely he wont be coming tmrow to school .

mesti bnyk alasan die bagi kat parents die untuk tak gy skulah .

* this is only what my feelings tell me ok ?

not the truth . 

idontknow whether he coming or not to school tmrow .

hmm , 

kbye .

Hi`

 ; This is soo true ok ? I love this photo very much .

Hi . :)

k , so on thursday was ...

erhm , let me recall first .

k , that day was normal day , just like those other days .

had normal lessons in school .

quite boring day .

after school , can straight go home cause no lessons after it .

went home , slept for awhile , played laptop 

then at around 6 , mom asked me to get ready as i need to go to school for the KL trip briefing .

when my mom asked me to get ready , i took my time .

then , what else .

WAS BEING NAGGED BY HER .

nag , nag , nag till i was going out to school then she stop .

because of it , when i reached school with my brother at 6.30pm that time , 

we sat at the conference room already , 

then i just remembered about my passport that i left it on the table .

called my mom and told her about it .

and there's goes on .

NAGGING TIME >:

thank god , my father just reached home that time and send me my passport .

THANKS DAD <3 

k , so the briefing ends at around 7.45 .

took my passport from my dad and straight write the passport thing .

then , quickly i changed my clothes all that at the mosque there cause i have night classes at the mosque .

and , 

like duhh .

im late for class . -.-

was really very paisey when step in in the class and somemore need to sit infront .

-.-

futhermore , i was asked question by my teacher .

i was really blur sia that time .

thank goodness , the person sitting beside me showed me where can i get my answer .

haha ,

so , end class at 9.20 .

reached home at 10 .

was really very tired .

then , do something .

after that ,

gdnite . :D

Friday ;

had sports day .

wake up same timing .

haha .

off to lot 1 at 0705 .

reached lot at 7.20 .

met up with Yan Ni and Shu Fei .

thought of taking the 307 bus ,

but when we see the packed of people taking the bus ; 

decided to walk .

ontheway there , saw my juniors in the taxi .

also saw many ccks students in the 307 bus .

we thought we were late already , 

but we actually wrong .

y'know when we reached at the carpark where the entrance , i saw my juniors just reached there .

like seriously so slow sia , . they took taxi , and we walked .

why we reached there at the same time whereas taxi have more speed than us .

haha .

reached there , went up to the blue place .

saw Mdm goi in purple house .

then , the events start .

all the competitors need to march in .

i was like " i dowan! "

haha .

was holding and pressing Filzah's hand all the way .

we're not lesbo ok .

we does that and it shows helping one another when we're scared that time .

haha . macam paham .

k , then blahblahblah . 

when we need to get ready for 4x100 ,

i was totally nervous that time .

. seriously .

and we ended up losing .

but nevermind , 

at least we tried .

so , after the run , 

i dont know why i was emoing that time .

and suddenly cried .

fyi , its not because of losing during the run .

its because of something else ok ?

aster and sherry was cooling me down .

but still , i cant forget the problem from my mind .

so , all the competitors need to be at the track again , but not march in again lah .

i didnt went down cause i cannot and i dont feel to .

seriously , tak kan nak turon dengan muka orang nangis kan ?

malu sey .

i was alone that time cause many of my friends went down .

so , blahblahblah . 

was really very hot y'know .

but y'know what , after all the events and talking , suddenly it rains heavily siaa .

-.-

went home with all wet .

actually decided to take the bus to lot 1 .

but Hayati , Evan , and Zhijing and Zulaikha wanted to walked , so had to follow them .

i was very cold and was hugging Zulaikha's bag .

while walking , i felt like vomiting cause i saw something , 

but didnt tell the others .

scared later they also shocked .

so , just keep quite loh .

when we were walking , 

fun sia .

they make alot of noise like nobody's business .

haha . funfun .

reached lot 1 , bought drinks from cheers then i decided to go home first as i seriously not feeling well .

then ,, blahblahblah .

skip . 

reached home , 

quickly bath , 

then sleep .

4 hours of sleep as i woke up at 7 .

my brother lah go and disturb me sleeping .

haha .

then at night , cik ayu's family came for ngaji .

but i didnt entertain them cause i have no mood .

sorry kakak Sitis' and shah .

next time k ?

haha .

now , i no mood to continue .

i dont know yesterday evening , when i woke up at 7pm , 

i cried .

i think about u that really makes my heart scattered .

boys feeling really very easy to change huh ?

when they see some hot girls , 

surely their heart will fall in love with them and forget the girl who is contacting them now .

haish .

kalau memang dah suka kat perempuan lain , 

and senang aja untuk lupakan perempuan lagi satu yang suka kat kau .

asl in the first place nak kene bilang perempuan yg suka kat kau yg kau suka kat die ?

u are just giving her false hope .

seriously .

ok , terus terang , i dont know about what happens actually , 

but kan lebih bagus if u explain it to the girl daripada buat die tertunggu2 macam tunggul .

u all should know girls easily gets many type of ideas telling herself about many negative things that will happened although its actually not what she thinks ..

thats why guys just need to explain to the girls before the girls thinking about all the negative things .

seriously , geram ah .

skg banyak laki dh tak leh dipercayai ah .

suka betul tukar hati bila nampak pompan cantik .

abe lupakan pompan yg die dh kasi harapan palsu .

lelaki - lelaki . . . 

haizz .

 ade ke lagi lelaki sejati kat dunia ni ?

hidop - hidop ):

sorry to any guys reading this .

im not offending u guys ok ?

so jgn terase k ?